I pride myself on being as authentic as humanly possible because it’s so important to me. How can you build trust with anyone if you’re not being your true self ya know? But a few weeks ago I had this moment in the middle of the isle in my local grocery store and it stopped me dead in my tracks. “Well crap, maybe I’m not as authentic as I thought.”
You see…
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For most of my life I believed that my story didn’t matter. I grew up with this innate need to hide my true self in the shadows and because of that, I never thought that anyone could be helped by my lived experiences.
How would it help anyone to know that I had been molested as a child?
Who would benefit by me sharing about how I couldn’t look anyone in the eye until I was in my twenties?
Why would anyone care that for many years I subconsciously looked for friendships and relationships with people who were too shallow to look past the emotional wall I put up and really get to know me on a deeper level?
The truth is…
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It’s rare that I’m afraid of something. Frustrated, yes. Angry even, absolutely. But fearful? I don’t often get fearful over showing up for something to do with my business but lately it’s been a struggle. Thoughts like “do you even know what you’re doing?” and “are you even qualified to teach about this?” were rolling through my head and I’ll be honest, it started to get to me.
Maybe those thoughts were right. Maybe I should just sit down and be quiet. Maybe I really am a fraud deep down. You know what though?
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